Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day. Such a simple statement....Motherhood took me by surprise! I wasn't prepared for no sleep, no time for a shower or a manicure, a quiet uninterrupted meal. I spent the first part of motherhood thinking that I'd never be a very good mother. I hated admitting that I had shortcomings; that I couldn’t do everything; that I was tired a lot of the time - make that MOST of the time. I wanted a little time to myself - for a bubble bath, to finish a good book...(and now YOU know the truth!)....knowing all that, still - all I ever wanted was to be a mom. No impressive career goals, no grand visions of board rooms, of being a VP-COO-CEO, of elegant cocktail/dinner parties - of saving the world. Nope. My career choice was motherhood - BME (Best Mom Ever).

Now that I’ve been “mommy, momma, mom, mother, Aunt Merc, and GiGi”, I have a few thoughts on motherhood. Society paints a picture of motherhood that portrays us as super-human – all of which may be our own faults - being able to juggle a hundred things at once – solving every problem known to man – while maintaining a home, laundry, car pools, soccer (and such) games, dance recitals, choir practice, vet visits, and those occasional dinner parties. Motherhood? Simple. It’s me being a mom - doing the best I can; other women, both ordinary and extraordinary, nurturing young lives to be the best they can be – paving the way for our children to pursue whatever they want to pursue, encouraging them to be whatever they dream of being, becoming a responsible citizen. We’re women who, at some point, may have felt that our identity got lost in the shuffle - maybe not. Everyone feels and looks at things differently. So often, for me personally, I got caught in a phase of my life that happened to be totally consuming - and at times I did feel lost. Look where I am now!
My hope is that my children and their children will realize that the best thing I brought to motherhood was ME – all my good and bad qualities. I’m impatient and sometimes bad tempered; I say inappropriate things at times. But I’m also smart and funny. I try to be compassionate, but fail miserably at times. I try not to be critical - but I am! I sincerely try to be a good person every day but I do fall short sometimes. I'm a human being and I've acceped that I can't be perfect.

No matter who you are, you adapt and change in response to your own lifestyle and the people in your life. Motherhood changes you. It reaches into your soul and rips you open with a love so great that it threatens your sanity. It’s the most demanding love I’ve ever known, yet on the other hand, the most gentle as well. You never let it go and it doesn’t lessen as your children mature. I often wonder how people will remember me. I won’t be remembered for my cooking skills – I don’t cook – my mother does! I won’t be remembered for my sweet nature or my generosity. I hope I’ll be remembered for always being there for my family, though – available for my kids, grandchildren, my nieces and nephews, their families – for not being judgmental but for loving each one of them for their own individual qualities. I hope I’ve been a good mother, a good aunt, a good sister and daughter, and a grandmother. What motherhood is for me is simply this: How much I love them - unconditionally. Not that they love me; not what I do right or what I do wrong. Just love - along with the fierce longing to be and do more to fulfill that love.

And, here they all are - pictured around this entry.....the very best parts of my life - of our lives. They are, and always be, the best part of what makes me who I am.