The Next Phase of My Life...Becoming a Grandmother

“Once a child is born so is a Grandmother.” Truer words were never spoken - for me anyway. I also know that this applies to my sister-in-law. Reva and I have talked many times, before and after the birth of our grandsons, about this ‘thing’ that happens to you when your child has a child. You fall head over heels in love - not just with that child, but with the whole world, and with the entire process of motherhood. At that moment, existence reveals its meaningfulness, and the circle is complete. It’s u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e!

I’ve always heard people say that being a grandparent is the BEST - you get to enjoy your grandchild and then hand him/her back to the parents for all the worry and responsibility that goes with being a parent. There is a certain truth to that, I guess, but I’ve got to tell you that I feel every bit as responsible where my own grandchild is concerned as his parents do. I may be new at the grandmother thing, but where do you draw the line? I try very hard to not interfere and you’ll have to ask Erin and Nick how I’m doing! That’s a whole other topic for another day!!

Grandmothers? People so often give huge credit to them for being a positive influence, the person of unconditional love. All that’s true, but I think most of the credit should be directed in a different direction. I think it should go to the person who stays at home during the day (and shared with the one who goes home at the end of the day); to the one who changes the diapers, cleans up the spit-up, gives up all hope of sleep so that tummies are full and babies feel safe. Erin and Nick are going through all that now, maybe even beginning to move past it. Ross is sleeping better at night and getting into the fun stage. It sure takes me back to the days when Richard and Erin were born. There’s no greater love affair than the one you have with your child(ren). I can still remember how overwhelmed I was by the weight of the love they brought into my life. I can remember tiptoeing into their crib just to be sure they were breathing, usually more than a few times a night - giving up on the tiptoeing when I’d get to their bed just in time to see them look me in the eye and grin that wonderful toothless grin! That feeling doesn’t end when they leave home, go away to college, and/or have children of their own - it grows stronger and it is such a powerful thing. I love my children more now, and I can't imagine how that's possible.

Grandmothers? The love of a grandmother is just as strong, but there is a difference - a different attitude, I guess - a lightness of heart. I still think of my grandmothers as the wisest, strongest and kindest people in the whole world and I hope to be the same to my grandchildren. I watch Erin take care of Ross and almost sympathize with the feelings that have taken over her life - the responsibility she feels and all the shortcomings she sometimes feels in herself from lack of sleep. I can remember momma telling me that it would pass, and I think I’ve even said that to Erin - if I didn’t say it to you, baby girl, I should have. It’s the most powerful kind of LOVE there is in this world - a mother’s love.

In closing, I have to tell you that I enjoyed my kids - at all stages of their lives. At times, I can remember thinking that I wished they’d stay small, never grow up and leave me. Life’s a mystery - with this perfect little life that’s come into my middle-aged life, I have the chance to experience it all over again....maybe again and again. I hope so, because there truly is NOTHING like it...being a grandmother, I mean. I'm on top of the world and I just can't wait to see what comes next in the Ross Nicholas Tales.

A good friend gave me the ornament (pictured above) when Ross was born and I keep it where I can see it every day - reminding me that when a child is born so is a grandmother or grandparent - in our case, in the form of GiGi, Paw-Paw, Grammy and Pap, greats Mama Jo and Daddy John. That ornament is what started this train of thought. I could go on and on, but you’ll be happy to hear that I’m going to stop for now and let YOU wonder what MY next thoughts will be....